Virtual relationships demand higher level of scrutiny, caution

From a young age, kids are taught to not talk to strangers or get into cars with people they don’t know. However, as those kids grow up, technology grows with them. This means that oftentimes younger generations are the ones that know how to navigate technological advances. Because of this knowledge and experience, students are able to do things online that many adults are either unaware of or suspicious over.. 

These actions are not always illegal or wrong in any way. However, they can become dangerous without any warning and, without adult knowledge, students can struggle to find their way out of the situation.

Senior Lucas Muellenbach started building relationships online and has seen both outcomes. 

“When I first got onto social media, I was about 11 or 12, and I talked to a lot of people that I didn’t know in real life,” he said. “Some of those relationships caused lasting negative effects that still stay with me today.”

For teens and pre-teens, such damage sometimes only reveals itself after years. However, an outsider can oftentimes see the dangers in the moment and be a much needed advocate. Senior Ramsey Tangen has seen events unfold in front of her. 

“The online friends can become controlling very easily,” she said. “They may become possessive over time, and I’ve seen it lead to hostility and threats that will hinder how people act around others in person.” 

These aggressive acts don’t only apply to friendships. The problem of domestic abuse transcends the physical and can be carried out through a phone in the course of a  romantic relationship. Platforms such as Tinder, Grinder, FarmersOnly, and others have been developed for noble reasons of helping people find love. However, simply because this is the intended purpose of these programs doesn’t mean they are safe.

Senior Tiernan Deppiesse has witnessed hostile relationships through these apps. 

“Being a senior I have friends who are 18 and have been on Tinder for a while,” he said. “A lot of these times, people just want things to go their way. They try to manipulate others into acts or relationships, and when they don’t get their way, it can become dangerous.”

Women’s Aid has conducted surveys in which they collect data from domestic abuse survivors. In one such survey, 85% of respondents reported that the abuse they received online was a reflection of what they received offline. This shows some proof that it’s not always people hiding behind a screen, but it’s meeting these people offline that can put people in danger. 

These dangers are not only among peers online. Many younger kids are at a high risk of grooming. Grooming is the manipulation in order to gain trust, which is often then used for sexual acts. 

“Looking back now, I would never talk to 12 year olds the way I was talked to by people who were 18 like I am now,” Muellenbach said. “I hope people realize that in the real world, a six year age difference isn’t crazy, but when we are still growing up, a 14 year old should not be dating a 20 year old.”

Not everyone online is dangerous, but it doesn't hurt to do some extra digging to be safe. 

“Video chatting with people can help you make sure that the person behind the screen matches the pictures,” Muellenbach said. “But that doesn’t mean everyone is being truthful. Don’t trust right away and always be mindful of what you are saying to others.”

By Sophie Burke

Oshkosh West Index Volume 118 Issue V

February 22, 2022