Endings shine bright lights on past darkness to set course for future

Throughout my entire high school career I have been waiting for graduation. Now, as a junior seeing how close it has become, I’m beginning to have second thoughts. 

When I first rolled in through the front doors and faced a seemingly never-ending hallway, I couldn’t help but wonder how I was supposed to get through the next four years. The days seemed longer than they ever had before. When I had finally completed my first day of high school, I was already excited for my last. 

I learned that walking from class to class would quickly become routine. I remember beginning to hate Disney and Hollywood for making me think that high school would be the best time of my life when in reality, I was more than ready for it to be over. 

As a child, I thought that in high school I would find some knight in shining armor who would make me love life, and I would find lifelong friends who would never leave my side. My only logic behind those thoughts was the fact that I had seen it happen in the movies. 

Much like the movies, I began to learn that some of the people around me were more like villains. I hadn’t found the people then that I have now and I had almost given up on the idea of having anyone around at all. 

My mindset throughout freshman year drove me to a dark place and it wasn’t until the summer that I found my escape. The people I have by my side, though few in number, were the light at the end of my dark tunnel. 

They made me realize that the rest of high school, and the rest of my life for that matter, would be nothing like the movies: it would be even better.

Looking back, knowing what I know now, I wish I would have cherished it more. Knowing that I’ll never get those days back of being young and reckless is the saddest part of all of this. I feel as though I am miles ahead of the naive freshman I once was. 

My freshman year was anything but eventful and that continued into the first few months of my sophomore year. The difference was that I now had a group of friends to last through each boring day, living the same routine. When I was finally back into the school schedule, my world seemed to turn upside down. December 3, 2019 was the day that started a downward spiral for West. It was a day where we clung to each other and began a new appreciation for the staff and other students we see every day. 

Like most, I didn’t leave my friends for more than a few hours in the days following. My small group of friends had become distant over the last month but this brought us back together. It was then that I first started to realize that I was taking the little things for granted.

Coming back to school was nerve-racking, and the environment was anything but ordinary. But, despite the struggle, we pushed through as a school and as a community. 

Just as everything had begun to go back to normal, disaster struck again. COVID-19 threw us all for a loop. Even the most introverted people were suddenly longing to go outside. 

I am the very definition of a homebody, yet being told I couldn’t leave the house made me want to escape like never before. Seeing people able to go out because their parents didn’t care caused a great deal of jealousy for me. I wanted my parents to stop caring as much about COVID so that I could go out and be a normal teenager again. Little did I know, my sense of normalcy would still be gone over a year later.

Though the mandated quarantine felt like it lasted years, I still couldn’t help but feel bad for my few friends that were seniors that year. My best friend missed out on the remainder of her senior year, a time she had been looking forward to for as long as she could remember. 

Watching the class of 2020 have to view their ceremony from their homes surrounded by only a few people still wasn’t as surreal as what I’ve seen this year. The majority of my friends are graduating this year. Not only did they miss out on almost their entire senior year, but they are now all going their separate ways. Watching them leave feels like watching the series finale of a show you have been watching for years. All of our memories were now in the past and new ones would become few and far between.

The people that guided me through high school and these few stages of growing up are moving on, and it makes me realize I never really bothered to make friends in my own grade. They were all I needed and I never realized that they would some day leave me behind. 

As the days seem to be going by faster than they ever had before, I found out that though I had been preparing myself to watch them go, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Coming to terms with the fact that everything I do with them now could be the last time has been the hardest part. I don’t want it to be the last anything, but I knew I couldn’t let them see that. I had to stay positive for them and I know that deep down I’m strong enough to do it. 

While it is sad to think about at times, these last few years have taught me to live in the present and never take anything for granted. I have learned to love when days are slow because the memories seem longer. I now can wait for graduation and I am hoping that next year takes its time.

By Anonymous

Oshkosh West Index Volume 117 Issue VIII

May 27th, 2021