Despite 21st Century evolution, women still trapped dancing to patriarchal rhythms

In a video essay, internet creator FunkyFrogBait inquires, “How many Einstein’s have spent their lives washing dishes, how many Mozart’s bent over stoves instead of pianos because they had the misfortune of being born a woman?”

Even Mozart’s own sister, Maria Anna Mozart, was a wildly talented and regarded composer and musician  in her time period, but was lost in the shadow of her brother in history just because she, like many others whose talents have been unjustly repressed, ‘had the misfortune of being born a woman.’ 

Maria Anna Mozart died 195 years ago, but the tragedy of her wasted talent lives on in the breath of all women that have come after her. Those that claim society has achieved equality between the sexes, oftentimes men, don’t hear the whispers of gendered biases that run rampant in the modern world. Yes, women can legally vote, but there are no laws that regulate the male body. Yes, women can wear pants now, but not without the fear of walking home alone at night in them. 

Aside from their deceivingly silly name, FunkyFrogBait’s question offers profound insight that may be applied to contemporary society and history as a whole. How many women have been denied their education, their bodily autonomy, their right to live life on their own terms, or their right to pursue their dreams? How much of women’s potential has been severely depleted or completely erased as fingers that once wrote music now only wear a wedding ring, or feet once adorned by point shoes now pirouette strictly within the confines of a kitchen? 

In the time of advancement of minority rights, to an extent, some may ignorantly say that this isn’t an issue. They might mention that women choose to be stay at home moms. Although true, the key word there is ‘choose.’ Yes, some have chosen to be housewives; a path in life not to be shamed or judged by anyone. However, not all women enjoy this luxury of autonomy. 

Hannah Neelman was, and still is, an extremely talented ballerina that graduated from Julliard with a bachelors of fine arts degree in 2012. Hannah, along with her husband Daniel, have a substantial number of followers on TikTok, gained by the appeal of her quaint and curious life as a stay at home mother of eight children on a farm in Utah.

Although already in possession of a considerable following, Ballerina Farm, Hannah and Daniel’s brand, had resurfaced after an article written and published by The Sunday Times titled, “Meet the Queen of the ‘Trad Wives’ (and her eight children),” was released exposing certain facets of her life that raised concerns about her well-being living on the farm. 

In the article, Hannah talks specifically about meeting Daniel while she was at Julliard when he was 23 and she was 21. Hannah had little to no interest in Daniel. So, in return, Daniel, being the son of the founder of JetBlue, pulled strings to ensure that he was seated next to her on her flight back to New York from Salt Lake City. Hannah expressed that she wanted to wait at least a year before considering marriage, but Daniel insisted that they begin earlier, so they were married within two months and pregnant within three. 

As the article states, Hannah was given little to no say in the drastic deviation her life took upon having children. The article says that “Daniel wanted to live in the great western wild, so they did, he wanted a farm, so they do, he doesn’t want a nanny, so they don’t,” he wanted to get married and so they did. 

Hannah wanted so desperately to live out her life in New York as the ballerina that she is at heart. According to the article, she excitedly awaited her arrival in the city with the zealous passion of dance illuminating her feet.

“I was going to be a ballerina,” she said. “I was a good ballerina.” 

But Hannah was more than good, she was magnificent. She was, and is, an exuberant dancer, seemingly only gaining flight when she is able to practice ballet on her farm, something that is heavily restricted by her husband.

The article explains that she was supposed to have a ballet studio, but the building where the studio was going to be was transformed into a schoolroom for their children. The only remnants she has of her old life is masked by her new and unwanted identity that she had essentially been forced into. She consistently expressed wanting to finish school before commitment, but was injected into motherhood only three months upon meeting Daniel. 

But this issue is not unique to a wealthy white woman in Utah. It is, and has long been, a global phenomena stuntin women of all nationalities and backgrounds. United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) estimates that 119 million girls are currently being denied their right to an education and that only 49% of countries have achieved complete educational equality. The inhumanity of child marriage affects one in five women globally even well into the 21st century, also according to UNICEF. 

Beyond Hannah Neelman, there are women across the world falling victim to society’s idea of what a female should be. Hannah’s story, although terrible, is almost archetypal as, globally, women are forced into marriages because that is what the world expects of them. 

It is not merely Hannah being a ‘trad wife,’ it is the circumstances that left her in the position she is in today. The way she talks about being a ballerina, the blank stare that she exudes in videos, the fact that she was not given a choice as to when and where she would get married and have children. It is not the fact that she is a wife and mother, it’s that she could have been so much more. 

Those who dismiss Hannah’s story severely underestimate the power of religion and the intense gender stereotypes that it can sometimes perpetuate. Since birth, she was taught that the only way she could be valuable was as a wife and homemaker or she may be damned for eternity. Without that context, it’s much easier to say that Hannah even had the illusion of a choice. 

 There is no doubt that Hannah loves her family and is a fantastic mother; that’s not the issue here. She takes care of her children with the grace and integrity that she once solely applied to ballet. Tragically, and importantly, she is now only someone’s wife, only someone’s mother as she has lost her identity as an independent person. 

Hannah’s children will never know the woman that danced, the woman that lived, the woman that went to Juliard with hope in her heart and a point in her feet. They will never know the woman that wanted to experience life for the first time the way that she wanted, with autonomy and agency, and freedom. She, and many women across the world, will never reach their full potential because they have suffered a man that would not take no for an answer. Hannah will now forever be a ballerina entrapped in a music box that rests on her husband's night stand.

by Anika Flores

Published on October 7 2024

Oshkosh West Index Volume 121 Issue I

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