Pumpkin-spiced atrocities prove caramel apple of autumnal eyes
From the melty spiced flavors of pumpkin, to the honey-rich taste of candy corn, and the warm and pleasant aromas of caramel and apples, it’s safe to say that October and the autumn season itself are packed with popular (and somewhat controversial) seasonal beverages and food items. When the fall menus of popular establishments such as Starbucks and Dunkin’ are released, it’s almost as if these flavors dictate when the seasons change, as suddenly everywhere you turn there’s a coffee cup accompanied by a flannel-and-scarf combo.
The infamous pumpkin-spiced latte that comes around each year is what seems to kick off these fall flavors, but Starbucks’ notorious drink is not the only form in which this flavor is sold. Although Dunkin’ released its pumpkin cream cold brew as competition, not long after opening its Oshkosh location, it doesn’t come close to some of the unexpected variations of pumpkin products. From less worrisome ideas such as pumpkin spice Kit-Kats, Moon Pies, or hot chocolate, to some more questionable options like pumpkin spice butter and ranch dressing. While these alternatives to the basic pumpkin spice latte are somewhat exciting for the fall fanatics, there is a line to be drawn in the sand when pumpkin spice spam and pumpkin spice toothpaste hit the shelves. These ludacris pumpkiny products make the best of us wish the first snow would arrive maybe a couple weeks sooner.
While pumpkin spice is popular, the real heated fall flavor controversy surrounds the little cone-shaped delights known as candy corn. From the color, to the texture, to the flavor, and even the shape it comes in, there are a multitude of candy corn characteristics that people use to describe their opinion on the snack. Indubitably, candy corn is genuinely a wonderful seasonal snack.
Although the texture may be a bit odd at first, candy corn is much more enjoyable than the sticky, teeth-pulling force of caramel when biting into the famed caramel apple. The flavor makes it a much sweeter alternative to pumpkin spice, and the scrumptious honey-rich composition paired with its bright coloring makes candy corn irresistible. Meanwhile, the poppable size makes it a no effort, mess free option in comparison to other fall flavors. Finally, and sometimes the best part, is the fact that candy corn comes in a wide variety of colors and shapes, varying from adorable pumpkins to miniature owls and cats for the Halloween season. This makes it extremely easy to decorate desserts and candy bowls to put on display during fall festivities.
Although some argue that the texture is too odd, or that the honey flavor is overpowering, that’s because the key to eating candy corn is in moderation. It works amazingly well as a seasonal snack, for a little bit here and there during the colder, sometimes gloomy Wisconsin autumn makes for a day-brightening and delectable moment.
A final fall flavor, accompanied by the warm pumpkin spice flavors and exciting aura of candy corn, is the customary idea of the caramel apple. Although the caramel-smothered, sprinkle-covered, and popsicle-stick impaled apple is a snack that evokes childlike bliss, it’s arguably the most inferior of the fall snacks. The thin layer of sugar goodness is not in any way proportionate to the amount of taste-bud abusing sourness in the granny apple beneath, and the sticky mess it leaves behind is impossible to clean up for the rest of the day. Not to mention the toothaches from trying to simply bite into them or the joys of colliding with the wooden stake through the middle.
The entire experience of eating caramel or “candy” apples is an unpleasant ordeal, especially when they are best enjoyed by already sticky children, some of which attempt to attack these abominations while adorning braces.
Overall, pumpkin spice, candy corn, and caramel apples are staples of seasonal snack culture. These treats add a glimmer of sweetness and warmth in the midst of Oshkosh’s chilly autumn weather, and are accessible at almost every store in the city. It wouldn’t be a classic autumn season without endless fall flavor advertisements from coffee chains and grocery stores alike, so whether or not they’re individually liked, they continue to help make fall an aesthetic and pleasant experience.
By Paige Helfrich
Oshkosh West Index Volume 118 Issue II
November 1st, 2021