Gender norms create obstacles to male mental health
“Treat others how you would like to be treated.” This is a common line heard by everyone at some point in life, yet for many, it seems still difficult to grasp. When it comes to the mental health of male celebrities or men in general, whether through media or just dealing with harmful narratives in daily life, it is often not taken into account. People of both genders tend to not take the mental well-being of men seriously or into account at all. Humanity should apply this saying of “treat everyone how you would like to be treated” to everyone when it comes to this topic. Trauma, pain, anxiety, depression - none of these pay heed to gender when the claws come out.
Through narratives built on toxic masculinity, overall disregard for men’s mental health, and other societal norms, men are often viewed as tough and emotionless. Their emotions are invalidated and not taken seriously. Even with all the so-called “progress” society has made recently, pretending that men are immune to mental health problems has continued to be an issue across the country and across the world. This is especially seen through the way we treat male celebrities on the internet and the impact that has.
Male mental health neglect can be seen through the way celebrities are treated, with seemingly no regard for their well-being. This epidemic was brought to light when Kit Connor, star of the Netflix series Heartstopper, was forced to come out on Twitter this October.
“Back for a minute,” Connor said. “I'm bi. Congrats for forcing an 18-year-old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye.”
After being incessantly questioned by intrusive people, the post made on October 31 almost immediately erupted with retweets and mentions. The post received a response from Heartstopper co-star Joe Locke who attempted to reassure Connor.
“You owe nothing to anyone,” he said. “I’m so proud of you my friend.”
Fans seemed to share this perspective, joining in to reassure the actor. But, like any internet drama, some people just couldn’t grasp that this would have any negative effect on Connor and seemed to have an opposite opinion, making it clear in their retweets, “we won”, or, “okay, bye!”
Because Connor wasn’t openly queer, his role as a queer character in Heartstopper had caused many online debates and plenty of name-calling for the actor in late August and early October. On September 12, the actor announced that he would be taking a break from Twitter, calling it a “silly, silly app.” While many fans were sad to see him go, plenty of people took this as another opportunity to mock Connor, who didn’t publicly react until his post on Halloween.
For most, the detrimental effect created by not only being watched by millions of people but also being affected by an injurious and stigmatized conversation around the mental well-being of men can be a cause of various insecurities and stress disorders. Not to mention, those issues often go untreated due to the stigma of simply getting help. These problems, combined with being in the public eye, have proven a severe problem for many male celebrities, and these problems will only continue if we continue to disregard and invalidate their feelings.
The media has continued to manifest its neglect for the mental health of men, and the issue itself continues to not be acknowledged. Psychologists consistently find that men find talking about their emotions “embarrassing” and “stigmatized.” Men are not encouraged to talk about their emotions by other men and women, it’s something they’re not used to. A study done by Priory found that 40% of men have never talked to anyone about their emotions and 20% didn’t do so due to the negative stigma. Society expects men to suck it up and move on, and they never stop and realize that men are people capable of complex emotions.
Why do we continue to encourage outdated and toxic gender norms? It just worsens the mental health conditions of anyone involved. The toxic stereotypes and expectations that are placed on men by the media are enough, but never talking about it openly can do even more damage. Men should not continue to be treated as if they don’t have emotions, and the damage has proven to be irreparable.
Human beings are incredible, complex creatures. Understanding the most fundamental value, to treat others like you would want to be treated, no matter what, seems to be the greatest challenge when it comes to allowing men to be open about their mental health. It’s perfectly normal to experience struggles, and being open about it can be one of the most important parts for many people, including men. People need to wake up and realize that no matter someone’s gender, their mental health is existent, and most of all, valid.
by Cas Bourner
Published November 28, 2022
Oshkosh West Index Volume 119 Issue 3