Dear "Big Man"

How do I legally commit tax fraud?

Ah, the age old question. It got Al Capone, now you don’t want it to get you. Being the omnipotent bear-sloth you all know and love, it may come as a surprise that I’m not familiar with the whole concept of “legal tax fraud,” but I might know a guy who is. He owns a multi-billion dollar enterprise and it rhymes with Beff Jezos.