The Red Ball by Madelyn Schleicher

“No no no no! Go away!! I don't wanna play anymore!”

It’s time to open your eyes. 

It was just a dream. Take a deep breath. 

Inhale.

Exhale.

THUD!

 There is no possible way that I am seeing this right now. It is so dark in my room, if I just shut my eyes it will not be there anymore, That's what Dr.Win told you. The thing is though, he was not there to see what my eyes have, so there is no possible way he knows about all the pain that rolls from my brain.

Why can’t I just forget that day?

I can still see it. The shining bright yellow beams of sun. The smell of the pollen entering and exiting my lungs. The white cotton dress swinging side to side in the polluted air as your size 6 ruby red dress shoes gently grazed the grass. 

Those were your favorite shoes.

You are smiling ear to ear. Your forehead creases with lines of innocence. The pools on your cheeks filled with nothing but pure happiness and joy. You let out little giggles of purity and yearning for nothing but play. 

“Catch!” 

If you only knew.

It's red and round to me, but to you it's just a ball. 

Your little polished fingertips reach for the round red rubber to return the circle of death.

It lands in my dry palms and without thinking I launch the ball so far it rolls beyond the grass.

Those same size 6 ruby red dress shoes skim the bright green blades beneath. They travel so far that you do not even realize it's not green below but now gray. Your beautiful blue almond eyes reach for that red circle. 

Why?

The truck driver's foot misses the brake pedal. 

What was he thinking?

The only thing coming  back to me is that bright red circle. 

All Lights Are Out.

I never even wanted to play.